Former professional wrestler Sean Armstrong (Hulk Hogan) is roped into a guard job with an old “friend” though it’s actually looking after two incredibly spoiled children.  The kids are in big trouble when their scientist father creates a powerful microchip that an evil rival wants and targets the children.  

Judging a Book by its Cover

– Is it me or does Hogan’s face look superimposed on the body of a different picture of Hogan.

– So the boy has a toy gun and she has a stick of dynamite?!

– If you find Hogan in a tutu funny…I don’t want to know you.

He’s big, he’s bad and he’s babysitting.  He doesn’t stand a chance.

Directed by Michael Gottlieb

Starring Terry “Hulk” Hogan, Sherman Hemsley, Austin Pendleton and David Johansen.

The film begins with Hulk Sean Armstrong having a nightmare about his WCW buddies beating him to a pulp.  After a vicious clothesline wakes him up, he’s visited by his old buddy that he hates so much, Burt (Hemsley) who has a business proposition for Sean.  Sean outright refuses a bodyguard position on account of he’s a wrestler and that’s all he wants to do (and all he can act as apparently.)  Burt pleads for him to take the job and after finding out that Burt is barely eating, takes the job out of pity.

Tonights guest star on “Amen” is Hulk Hogan!

Before he can even get to the interview, Sean gets into a fight with the parking guard and beats him up, wowing his employer (Pendleton) in the process.  Sean finds out his employer is making a special microchip for a rocket that will apparently destroy anything that attempts to attack America.  He receives a call from your “typical psychotic genius” (his words, not mine) who wants the chip and demands a price for it.  Refusing the madman his chip, he tells Sean that he must protect….his children.  Assured that a nanny looks after them and he just has to protect them, Sean reluctantly takes the job.

Welcome to the east side…of Hell!

Immediately arriving at his employer’s home, the nanny is driven away by the children, a brother/sister couple of hellraisers who make life hard on whoever dares be paid to look after them.  I’m talking full-on, Home Alone-style pranks that should kill a normal human being.  Electrocution, tripped down a long flight of stairs, tying a rope to his bike while he’s driving it, etc.  Sean endures this torture all while a sassy, black stereotype of a cook (Mother Love) watches on laughing her ass off.  Sean eventually comes into play against the chrome-domed villain and of course saves the day.

Probably not his worst moment in his life. But its probably up there.

As you can probably tell, Mr. Nanny more comedy than anything but it’s pretty low-level stuff meant for kids to enjoy.  Hogan gets bonked on the head by a bowling ball and falls over like he’s dead?  Kids will love that shit.  Your mileage may vary but it didn’t go very far with me.  Honestly, the movie took me several tries to get through which never ends well.  Yes, I watched it when I was younger and may have liked it but this is easily the worst of the Hulkster’s movies I’ve watched recently.   If the idea of Hulk Hogan in a Home Alone type of film amuses you, give Mr. Nanny a try, everyone else should steer clear.

TL;DR

Story: 2 – A professional wrestler-turned-bodyguard is tasked to look after two hellions from a villain seeking their father’s new microchip.

Blood: 1 – Villain David Johansen’s face might scare little children.

Nudity: 0 – Hogan in a tutu is the worst you’ll get.

Overall: 2 – The film isn’t even so bad, it’s good territory like No Holds Barred or even Suburban Commando, it’s just bad at every turn.  Avoid if you can.

Trivia

The film was originally titled “Rough Stuff” which is also the title track that plays over the end credits.

One of the young actors, Robert Gorman, may be known to horror fans for being in Leprechaun.