Directed by Christian Viel

Starring Bobbie Phillips, Ginger Lynn, Jenna Jameson and Richard Grieco

A group of American university students head to Ireland to learn about Druid rituals only to fall prey to ancestors of incestuous cannibals living in the woods around them.

A group of your average American university level students go to Ireland on a trip to learn about Druids, their ancient rituals and a lot of that junk.  I’ve never heard of classes that deal with Druidism to the point that you can take a class all the way to Ireland to learn about that.  Must be expensive!  They stay in a nice cottage in the woods though they have a goofy caretaker who creeps them out by warning them to not stray far because it’s the season of Samhain.  Oh, don’t know what “Samhain” is?  Not to worry, one of the characters fill everyone in with a quick explanation so we can get on the same wavelength about cannibal druids.  There was an offshoot of the local druids who became incestuous cannibals eating anyone who came by while keeping their bloodline pure.  Some say…they’re still out there…

..and they really need to use the bathroom.

Of course they are, what kind of movie would this be?  There’s not much story beyond that so enjoy what you get.  There’s enough character development to determine that the dick-ish jock dude is really a dick, the couple who make out all the time really love each other and so on.  The film spends about half the running time getting to know these guys before finally unleashing the cannibal druid on them and that’s really what the movie is about.  In between humorous, now-dated, references to earlier horror successes like Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer and scenes of gratuitous T&A from several members of the porn star cast are the gory death scenes that were obviously supposed to be the highlight of this film.

No, I don’t want the hotdog.

Even though the film’s notorious past (see below) means that we’re forever doomed to watch a cut version of the director’s original vision, in which there was much more boobage and bloody scenes, the eventual released version is still pretty gory.  While most of the film is taken fairly seriously, the death scenes are quite over the top.  Among the bloody stabbings and cut off body parts, I would say any movie featuring someone getting their intestines ripped out of their butt would be considered extreme but many of these days are done in a cartoony way.  One of the most famous porn stars, Jenna Jameson, shows up for a couple of scenes before getting her innards torn out while a cannibal creature tries to munch on her implants.  Funny or not?  That’s your call. It’s too bad the film went through so much crap because it could’ve wound up being a fun, gory creature feature.  You can see that vision of the film peak through the curtains from time to time but a lot of tampering and editing ruined the movie.  Not that it was going to go down as a classic for the ages but the film attempts to deliver old school thrills and is only partially successful.  Best to avoid.

Red rover, red over we call Adam over…

TL;DR

Story: 3 – People getting killed in the woods keeps with the old school heart of the film but making the killer a druid cannibal doesn’t make it any more interesting though it may be an example of the film trying too hard to be funny.  The actual story is set up during the first fifteen minutes but by the end makes little sense.

Blood: 8 – Plenty of gruesome kills and blood and guts literally all over the place.

Nudity: 7 – The film contains a handful of porn stars who thankfully show off what they were hired for.  The ladies get a dude’s dong but the dude is on a spit roast so it’s not that hot.  Well technically it is…

Overall: 4 – The amount of blood and boobs will see you through to the end but the chances of you enjoying anything other than that is quite slim.

Trivia

-The film had some trouble during production (mainly due to star Chasey Lain allegedly being under the influence most of the time) but it became a nightmare after it was over.  The movie was originally filmed in 2002 with the title of “Samhain” but would sit on the shelf until 2006 until Lionsgate picked it up for distribution.  They wound up editing scenes down, especially some of the kills — one victim is just dragged under her bed never to be seen again.  New footage wound up being added without director Christian Viel’s input and the final result is a hodge podge horror movie that makes no sense.  Bad, Lionsgate, bad!

-Director Christian Viel has a cameo as a maggot-infested head.