Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you one of the worst movies ever!  Does it look like Friday the 13th to you?  The filmmakers sure hope so, cause they practically rip off that series from the hockey mask to the crazy old man who warns everyone.  What it doesn’t rip off are the inventive kills and any sense of dread since it’s mostly bloodless and filmed in the daytime.  Yeah, it sucks.

Directed by Ralph Portillo

Starring Jessica Morris, Peter Guillemette, and Patrick Cavanaugh

The Story

Take everything you learned from the first few Friday the 13th movies, remove the unique kill scenes and any sense of foreboding and dread and you’ll have just a glimpse of how awful this turd of a movie really is.  Some young people get together to renovate an old campground but fall prey one by one to local legend, Trevor Moorhouse, who goofs around the woods during the daytime killing them off.  It’s a terrible waste of 90 minutes.

The Trailer

Trivia

In the final film credits, Trevor Moorhouse (the film’s psychopath) is listed “as himself.”

Actress Jessica Morris stated in an interview that she hates the film.

I hate this film too.

The Review

As the old saying goes, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”  After watching Bloody Murder, Friday the 13th should be very flattered… if it weren’t for the fact that Bloody Murder imitates Friday as poorly as can possibly be.

Instead of taking time to establish the killer, Trevor Moorhouse, as the local legend, the first scene is Trevor lumbering around like an idiot chasing a guy in the woods with a chainsaw.  While part of the movie is filmed at night, the majority of the kills happen during the daytime.  The filmmakers really took the wrong approach in trying to establish the killer as anything beyond a cookie-cutter Jason clone.  There was very little effort in making him scary but that should come as no surprise since there was hardly any effort put into anything else.

The script isn’t even comparable to any of the Friday movies, it’s as bare bones as can be with terrible dialogue that gels well with most of the actors’ wooden delivery.  Some come off like they’re at least trying to put effort into the bad writing but mostly it felt like they were reading their lines off cue cards. 

Surely, with a movie called Bloody Murder, it would at least live up to its title?  No such luck!  The movie is very light on the blood, most of it shown as after the fact.  The majority of the kills happen off screen making this film come off like it was made-for-TV, there are even fade outs like it’s cutting to commercial!  “Hey, who wants to watch a PG version of Friday the 13th” said no one ever.

Shaking in your boots yet?

Is it really that much like Friday the 13th?  Camp counsellors fixing up an old camp?  Check.  Do they have sex out in the woods?  Check.  Local killer is treated as a legend but still routinely kills young people in the woods?  Check.  Bonus: does he wear a hockey mask?  Check! Creepy old man who warns everyone there’s a curse?  Check.  Red herrings?  Sure, there’s even a suspect counsellor named Jason that someone uses as a reference to the movie.  Someone must’ve thought that was clever.

Is there anything that can save this movie?  There’s not one thing in this movie that could make me recommend it.  It’s a boring, bloodless affair with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  It’s a shameless rip off that makes a mockery of itself in the name of a beloved classic.  Avoid at all costs.

The Score

Story: 1 – Nothing you haven’t seen before.

Blood: 1 – There are a few trickles of blood but hardly becoming of the films’ title.

Nudity:  0 – Sex scene out in the woods is strictly with clothes on.

Overall: 0 – There is nothing, not one thing, in this movie that would make me recommend it.  It’s poorly written, it’s poorly made, it’s boring, it’s the worst.