A spirit of someone accidentally killed years ago dresses up as a burger restaurant’s mascot and seeks revenge on the children of the people responsible for his death.  Or something like that.  It’s most definitely not just someone killing people in a restaurant.

Judging a Book by its Cover

-Hey, is that Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal…with a speaker jammed in his mouth?

-Does the whole movie take place at a burger restaurant?  Oh god, is the secret ingredient people??

-No one who hates clowns will rent this.  Sticking a gigantic clown face on the cover is enough to scare those people off.  Or make them think the movie is scary…see below.

Hungry for a killer meal?

Directed by Shane Kuhn and Brendan Cowles

Starring Leighton Meester, Nicholas D’Agosto and Melora Hardin

The film begins with a van full of wannabe gangstas and their women pulling up to the Hella Burger drive thru to order disgusting food.  Thinking they’re being messed with by the employee behind the clown speaker and attempt to hassle him because that’s what thugs do.  One of them even picks the lock to break into the restaurant to find that it’s actually empty — except for someone dressed as Hella Burger’s charming mascot, Horny the Clown, armed with a custom-made axe and a speaker mouth to talk through.  Horny makes short-order work of his would-be tormentors before the opening credits roll.

Want fries with that?

Elsewhere, Mackenzie, her boyfriend Fisher and the rest of her friends are having a house party when they find a ouija board and decide to play with it because why not?  The board delivers what they think is gibberish but winds up being the license plate of the gangsta van from earlier when Mackenzie notices it on the news.  If that’s not bad, she develops film from her camera at school and discovers that the pictures show the deaths of the victims from earlier.  Before she can process what she’s seeing, she’s ambushed by Horny who’s been going after her friends.  He chases her into the gymnasium where she finds one of her dear friends chained to a chair with a microwave secured around her head and bad things happen.  That scene is better than all of Microwave Massacre.

Who let Jigsaw into this movie?

Not dissuaded by that nonsense, Mackenzie goes out with the rest of her friends to a haunted attraction where once again Horny shows up to kill a few more of her friends, with only her boyfriend surviving the massacre.  Fisher is taken to the hospital in a state of shock and Mackenzie’s mother finally fesses up to what’s happening.  The kids getting murdered were the children of her friends who years ago accidentally killed the son of the owner of Hella Burger and believes that the spirit is back for revenge.  Ow, my head.

Thanks for trying but the movie still sucks.

Ok, so Drive-Thru is most definitely meant to be a comedy though it leans more towards a comedy of errors since the movie is rarely ever funny enough to elicit a chuckle though there’s so much wrong with it.  The story is a mess, the dialogue is awful, the characters aren’t memorable in any way, etc.  As far as the horror aspect goes, I imagine some people with coulrophobia will be apprehensive with Horny showing up on screen but even those scenes may be unintentionally scary.  The kills actually aren’t that bad but the movie keeps wanting to veer towards the funny so there isn’t much impact to them.  There’s not much else to say, really, the movie is terrible and you should just not watch it.

TL;DR

Story: 2 – The spirit of a burger joint manager’s son, killed years ago, comes back as the burger joint’s mascot to kill kids in a fit of revenge.  A mess of a movie that attempts to be a horror-comedy slasher with supernatural overtones.

Blood: 6 – I’ll give the movie points for having some decent kill effects.

Nudity: 0 – What a surprise.

Overall: 2 –  Whatever intentions the movie had are poorly executed, just keep driving past this Drive-Thru. 

Trivia

-Morgan Spurlock, of Supersize Me fame, has a cameo as the restaurant’s manager.

-The name of the film’s fictional town, Blanca Carne, is Spanish for “a whale’s vagina.”  Sorry, it’s actually “white meat.”