A local huckster cons a reclusive family of mutants out of their money when he finds out their big secret but he’s messing with the wrong head!
Judging a Book by its Cover
-Cute tagline, I like it!
-Kinda feel bad for the guy with all the hoses and is that a pee bag…? I doubt that’ll factor into the movie. Hope not.
Upset the head and you’re dead!
Directed by Charles Band (as Richard Talbot)
Starring Blake Adams, Jacqueline Lovell, J.W. Perra and Alexandria Quinn
Lance is a slimy, small town conman who seems to have everything going his way, he’s even banging the hot thing in town, Loretta. The big problem is that she’s married to Howard, the town’s biggest, baddest thug and are concerned about what he would do to them if he found out. This is actually the conversation they have while having sexytime in the bathroom while Howard is waiting outside for her.
Howard’s attention is turned towards a visit from the Stackpools, a wealthy family of local freaks who come into town occasionally for supplies. The family consists of Wheeler, with the big eyes and ears, Otis, the original Hodor, and Ernestina, the one with the booooobs and Howard’s attention.
Lance finishes up and takes Loretta home but they happen upon a downed tree that blocks the road. Lance investigates further and happens upon the Stackpools dragging someone into their home after they had put the victim’s car in the bog. Never one to miss an opportunity, Lance follows them inside and discovers the family have been kidnapping locals and operating on them. Lance is discovered and he meets Myron, THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY!! GET IT?! DO YOU? Yes, the family are actually quadruplets but born with different defects and abilities. Myron can use his big brain to control his siblings telepathically.
Lance squirms his way out of the situation through extortion; pay him weekly to shut him up or else his “lawyer” will out them. Myron reluctantly agrees though he sets his siblings out to find out everything they can about Lance so he can personally fuck with him later on.
Yes, it’s obviously ridiculous but this is Full Moon, baby, they don’t do “normal.” I was digging the movie for the most part with it’s tale of love and revenge with a twisted sense of humour and liberal doses of nudity from softcore superstar Jacqueline Lovell and hardcore pornstar Alexandria Quinn. (Hey, if it works, it works!) Intended to be more of a comedy, Head does have a decent amount of laughs given the material but it’s not a laugh riot. Thankfully the movie isn’t even an hour and a half long so it’s over right around the time you want to shut it off anyway!
Story: 6 – Hey, for a low-budget flick about a giant head, I was shocked at how good the story was.
Blood: 3 – Aside from some funky makeup for the lobotomized victims, the movie isn’t very violent.
Boobs: 9 – Jacqueline Lovell spends a lot of time without any clothes on and definitely having sex most of those times. Alexandria Quinn joins in the fun with a sex scene and some toe sucking for you perverts out there.
Overall: 6 – Head of the Family isn’t much of a hidden gem, but it is better than it deserves to be.
-A sequel, Bride of the Head of the Family, has been teased but has yet to materialize though there was test footage filmed and can be found online.