Bill Paxton plays a yuppie office worker who purchases a home in a not-so-great neighborhood.  The vagrant squatting in his house is driven out but makes it his business to turn the yuppie’s life into a living hell.

Judging a Book by its Cover

-There are at least two Home Alone references in this poster.  Is this the secret R-rated Home Alone film we’ve always wanted except with Bill Paxton as grown up Kevin McCallister?

-What else could this movie have been called?  The Bum?  The Hobo?

-Paxton has nice teeth.

Directed by Chris Walas

Starring Bill Paxton, Marshall Bell and Michael Ironside

He’s not home alone!

After receiving a raise at his office job, Graham Krakowski (Paxton) fulfills his dream of owning his own home.  It’s a bit of a fixer-upper given the low price, but he’s willing to put the work into turning it around.  The first thing to do though is get rid of the disgusting vagrant (Bell) that is squatting in his new home.  The transient doesn’t take his uprooting too well, however, and starts to camp nearby which causes Graham a lot of uneasiness.

Did you get any munchies?

Between the nightmares of being attacked and the actual harassments upon Graham by Mr. Vagrant, Graham lies to get the cops to take him away and believes he’s done with that bit of business and wants to move along with his life.  The vagrant comes back with a vengeance, killing people and being so clever as to lead the investigating officer (Ironside) into believing that Graham is the one to blame despite Graham’s assertions of innocence.  Poor, silly Graham starts to go overboard trying to get the upper hand and keep the bum out of his yard even if it means losing his sanity.

On second thought, I’ll pass.

Noticing an unlikely Mel Brooks/Brooksfilm mention in the opening credits, I was intrigued as to what the movie was going to deliver — certainly not a straight up horror film — and in the end, it certainly was not to be taken seriously.  From the story to the acting, the film’s goal isn’t so much to scare the viewer but to amuse in a dark comedic sense.  I’ll admit to a chuckle or two for that reason though The Vagrant is pretty campy to begin with and time has not been kind to it nor Bill Paxton’s glasses.  Let’s just say you’ll be laughing at the movie more than with it.

See you in your nightmares.

TL;DR

Story: 5 – Some may be amused at the thought of a yuppie fighting for his home against the most hideous homeless person you’d ever meet.  It’s certainly only going to appeal to a small audience.

Blood: 4 – A few brief scenes of nudity. I’ll take what I can get.

Boobs: 4 – Not the film’s main focus, there’s some blood here and there with a few brief scenes of something more extreme though still shown with a tongue stuck firmly in cheek.

Overall: 5 – As a film, it’s strictly average though if you’re looking for some laughs from a bad movie, look no further!

Trivia

-From script to film took almost ten years.

-According to Wikipedia, the film’s limited theatrical run grossed $5,900.