monster

Shaun vs. Monster Squad (1987)

Count Dracula has come to America after intercepting Frankenstein’s Monster in an airplane.  Along with the Mummy, Wolfman and Creature from the Black Lagoon, they will rule over mankind.  The only thing stopping them is the Monster Squad — a group of pre-teens who know their horror movies.



Judging a Book by its Cover

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– That’s the scariest Mount Rushmore I’ve ever seen.

 

-What are the lanterns for?  Is this set in 1887?

 

-In fact, who’s driving that car?  No one looks older than 14 here.

 

 

 

 

 


You know who to call when you have ghosts…but what about monsters?

Directed by Fred Dekker

Starring Andre Gower, Stephen Macht, Duncan Regehr and Tom Noonan

A hundred years ago, Van Helsing and his small troupe attack Dracula’s castle to stop the evil Count once and for all.  Fighting off the undead army that protects the bloodsucker, Van Helsing has a young woman speak an incantation that opens a portal to limbo only for it to suck them all in instead.  Oops.

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Why am I always the one to show up fully dressed?

Fast forward to present day *cough* 1987 *cough* where Sean and his friends are usually getting in trouble for drawing monsters in class instead of paying attention.  Sean puts a lot of time into his horror hobby at home where his parents are in counselling and are often arguing.  Sean’s father is a cop and it’s hard to commit to his family when he’s so busy lately.  A mummy has gone missing from the museum.  A crazy man in the police precinct is shot dead while actually trying to be locked up though he later turns into a werewolf in the ambulance and escapes.

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Kids before cell phones!

 

One day after school, Sean’s mother gives him something she found at a yard sale — Van Helsing’s diary, which is unfortunately in German.  Meanwhile, several thousand miles in the air, an airplane is transporting cadavers, among them is the body of Frankenstein’s Monster, along with a hitchhiker bat.  Dracula attacks the pilots and they dump the cargo and Dracula goes after the body (with the help of the Creature) and brings his long lost friend back to life.  The band is back together!  Sean figures out that Dracula does exist and only him and his clubhouse friends are the ones to stop these monsters.

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The moment of truth: does Wolfman have nards?

Monster Squad may have been my first ever horror movie, certainly the one that I not only liked but loved back then and still love now.  It’s like a horror take on Goonies.  Despite the fact that the main characters are children, the film doesn’t take a lighter tone to accomodate the audience.  The kids use their knowledge to the their advantage against the monsters, like using a silver bullet against a werewolf or using wooden stakes against a vampire.  The film is bloody, the film is scary, the film is awesome.  There is nothing bad I can say, I’m biased but I love Monster Squad.

TL;DR

Story: 9 – A clubhouse of horror-loving kids are the only thing standing in the way of Dracula and co. taking over mankind.  Great dialogue, quotable lines and plenty of action and humour.

Blood:  7 – Gooey bullet shots, a werewolf blowing up (and coming back,) bloody stakes, bites, etc.  A little bit of everything really!

Nudity: 0 – Only the briefest of glimpses of a girl undressing in the window, nothing is seen though.

Overall: 9 – The Wolfman has nards and so does this movie, it’s a lot of fun!

Trivia

-Dracula actor Duncan Regehr didn’t wear his red contacts and fangs around the little girl who plays Phoebe because it scared her too much.  The scene where she was supposed to scream at Dracula was done in one take when he finally wore them.

-Frankenstein actor Tom Noonan normally stayed away from the child actors so as to make them feel uneasy around them while on set.  These poor kids!

-Brent Chalem, who played Horace (or “fat kid”) died of pneumonia in 1997.

 

 

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